Friday, February 10, 2006


EMERGENCY BROADCASTING SYSTEM
Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! "This is the Emergency Broadcasting System. We have received a report of a murdered white family in Boston, Ma. Murders rarely happen in this country, so all regularly scheduled programming will be suspended until every minute detail of the atrocity is repeated again and again and again and again........If any important news occurs during our 24 hour continual broadcast of "murdered white family" (something like, oh I don't know....a revelation that Abramoff WAS INDEED on friendly terms with Bu$h, that Cheney had instructed Libby to reveal a CIA agents name to the press in order to discredit her husband, that Brownie claims he is being scapegoated by the Bu$h administration and that Bu$h wouldn't take his phone calls concerning the matter, that Tom Delay was rewarded for all his hard work for his fellow congressmen by being appointed to the House appropriations committee, etc etc etc) we will most certainly ignore it. HOWEVER, if a Democrat farts wrong or smiles at a lobbyist while passing on the street, we will IMMEDIATELY switch broadcasts and focus all attention on this pertinent matter. Good night and good luck."